The Voice of Treason

I was watching FNC yesterday and saw a couple things that made me think that if the phone had gone off at that very moment and the person on the other end of the conversation had been conducting one of those surveys that asks if America is moving in the wrong direction I would have at that particular moment, mind you, immediately and hysterically screamed into his ear: “HELL, YES, IDIOT!”

First there was the segment in which Jon Scott was interviewing Jason Itzler, the individual who claims he introduced Eliot Spitzer’s harlot to prostitution. Throughout the interview he insisted that, before his incarceration, he ran a “classy” operation and repeatedly boasted that he has “good taste.” He was miffed when Scott mistakenly stated that his girls earned $2000 a night. “That’s $2000 an hour,” he snapped.

And then there was Steve Brown illustrating how the whole delegate thing works by using marshmallow PEEPS. He explained – slowly and carefully – that in the state of Iowa the people would conduct part two of a four-part national selection process. There were county conventions, precincts, caucus representatives. Representatives represented here by PEEPS. Obama’s PEEPS, Hillary’s PEEPS, and the jumper candidates’ PEEPS. Some PEEPS will be persuaded to shift their loyalties, said Brown. Change their vote, so to speak. A political power grab? No, a PEEPS grab.

I asked T to watch the segment because I wanted his reaction. I wondered if he would see it as the further dumbing down of America. Like, we are all just PEEPS. He watched with furrowed brow, then said:

“Damn. They make bunny-shaped PEEPS now?”

Today Itzler appeared on an even longer segment, and Steve Brown’s PEEPS story was repeated. Pimps, PEEPS… whatever.

Gotcha.  I think we have a clear definition of what you and Your Holiness mean by “excessive wealth.”  To clarify, is it dropping 100K on overpriced whores?

Please remit.

“We sought to bring real change to New York, and that will continue. Today, I want to briefly address a private matter.

I have acted in a way that violates my obligation to my family, that violates my — or any — sense of right and wrong.

I apologize first, and most importantly, to my family. I apologize to the public, who I promised better. I do not believe politics in the long run is about individuals. It is about ideas, the public good, and doing what is best for the state of New York.

But I have disappointed myself and I have failed to live up to the standard I accepted of myself. I must now dedicate some time to regain the trust of my family. I will not be taking questions, thank you very much. I will report back to you in short order. Thank you very much.”

– Eliot “Client Number Nine” Spitzer

Se7en… The Sequel.

Lust. Gluttony. Avarice. Sloth. Anger. Envy. Pride. Dante made them household words.

Now a Vatican official has extended the list to bridge the gap between the 6^th and 21^st centuries. But I’m thinking he issued the list in either Italian or Latin because there appears to be some confusion in the media. It’s unclear, but perhaps this will be close:

“Bioethical” violations (this suggests contraception and abortion)

“Morally dubious” and “manipulative” genetic science (stem cell research and cloning, perhaps?)

Drug abuse and drug dealing (pretty straightforward, but does this include Celebrex?)

Polluting the environment (that could include littering, failure to recycle, and so much else)

Contributing to the widening divide between rich and poor (widening the social and economic gap between specific groups, aka social and economic injustice)

Excessive wealth (um… what exactly is excessive?)

Creating poverty (uh… spending?)

I believe that’s seven, but the list seems somewhat redundant. Oh, and I think I heard pedophilia was in there somewhere. Hmm. Considering the breaking news out of New York today, maybe the Vatican could have offered the following:

Cruelty

Vindictiveness

Ruthlessness

Arrogance

Narcissism

Hypocrisy

And, of course, one more.

Schadenfreude. The Sequel.