Eat, Drink, and Hail Mary
Writing by treason on Tuesday, 25 of December , 2007 at 1:22 pm
Tony Blair has been “received into full communion with the Catholic Church” by the Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O’Connor. This means that the former PM has converted officially and is now a Roman Catholic.
Senator John McCain and Senator Joe Lieberman have been appearing side-by-side, smiling like dual Cheshire Cats, on all the cable news shows. This means that hints are being dropped like the turkeys from WKRP over Cincinnati that the two might share a ticket.
The Saudi king has pardoned “The Girl of Qatif.” This means that the poor girl who was brutally gang-raped by seven Saudis and then sentenced to six months in prison after 90 – no, 200 – lashes, gets “a break.” Say, how ‘bout a pardon for her unfortunate male companion who was also gang-raped?
Politicians are proposing a $5000 tax on human breeding. Does this mean I can expect a $5000 check from Uncle Sam for not breeding?
Mike Huckabee is about as clear on Cuba as JFK was. Jack would have been better served if he’d spent more time looking at world maps and less time romancing starlets; Mike would be better served if he spent more time thinking about the forty-nine states and the numerous countries surrounding Arkansas. (Didn’t Ross Perot try to make this point in ’92?)
Rudy Giuliani was eviscerated by both Tim Russert (on Meet The Press) and Florence King (in National Review) when she described him thusly:
“… Embarrassingly unfunny and made unfunnier by his big grin because he looks like a skull from a Vincent Price movie when he grins.”
Ouch. And that image is still not as scary as the dream I had about him (don’t ask). I think this means trouble for the Mayor.
I watched a Republican debate in Spanish without subtitles and discovered that Ron Paul has seventeen (actually eighteen) nietos. This means I can never get those ninety minutes back. Or those eight years I wasted in school studying French.
The Left accuses Romney of flip-flopping and changing his views, and this means that when George Bush doesn’t change his he’s stubborn. This also means that neither, according to the Left, are nuanced like John Kerry.
The Left is also wringing their hands over the CIA tapes. Clearly, they insist, these tapes were erased to protect the identities of CIA employees. I thought they wanted the identities of CIA employees protected. Who’s to say that Valerie Plame wasn’t torturing enemy combatants on those tapes? Threatening to pour peroxide in their eyes? Look, we aim to please, but obviously you people are never satisfied.
What does all this mean? It means it’s Christmas and it’s time to tune into Barney Cam to try to regain some holiday spirit before it’s all sucked out by the MSM. Pop that ham and green chile cornbread in the oven and grab the sloe gin and Sprite – it’s going to be a bumpy 2008!
My advice: Concentrate on the menu and adult beverages. As always, a very merry Christmas to all.
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