Minding your Ps and Qs
Writing by treason on Tuesday, 27 of November , 2007 at 10:13 pm
This is an idiom that many believe to mean that one should be on his best behavior or be careful of his language. That could be interpreted as being careful to choose the right word, being careful not to use an offensive word, or being careful to simply use one’s language properly. But that requires some knowledge and practice of the rules of grammar and pronunciation.
When it comes to idioms, there are often several ways to explain expressions we use but rarely understand. One explanation is “mind your pints and quarts,” something that may have been generated in an English pub. It’s possible. Another could be the advice given to children learning to write to be careful not to mix up the lower case letters “p” and “q.” How quaint, since they don’t teach penmanship in government schools anymore. (T mentioned he saw the handwriting of an adolescent recently and was appalled that there was such a liberal mixing of upper and lower case letters within words – a standard error of our times.)
I mention this because I watched the President at the podium with Abbas and Olmert and I did cringe a little when he butchered the pronunciation of their names. It was unfortunate because I know that he knows how to say their names without stumbling over them – although I admit he’s had trouble with “Olmert” before – but it always looks bad when he chokes like that.
Keith Olbermann, of course, devoted quite a bit of time to this and maintained that disgusted look throughout his “report.” He, like others of his political persuasion, interprets the President’s verbal stumbles as evidence of a dull mind. Fact: Because George Bush can’t consistently communicate clearly he must be stupid. Let’s, for a moment, accept that as a truth and say, transversely… uh, conversely, that if someone can communicate clearly he must be smart.
I’m reminded of one of my high school theater teachers. She had just assigned parts to students in class and one girl protested. “I don’t think I can do this. I just don’t speak very well.” It was true, the girl did struggle with proper usage and the character she would be playing did not have the same issues. I was impressed that she voiced her opinion and I interpreted it as an admission of a problem she thought should be overcome. But then the teacher told us that how a person speaks has nothing to do with intelligence. To illustrate her point she recalled a college classmate who spoke extremely well and was always grammatically correct, but she was one of the dumbest people my instructor had ever met.
So the production went forward and most people agreed the girl had been terribly miscast. Frankly, I failed to see how the experience helped her.
I’m old enough (hear that creaking? that’s me) to be one of those kids who survived elementary school teachers who had no problem smashing a youngster’s self-esteem. If a student mispronounced a word or misspelled a word, our teachers made sure it wouldn’t happen again. Why? Because, as they would explain, others will think you are uneducated. Stupid. And nothing was worse than that.
I was one of those kids who was speaking as an infant (my baby book says my first word was “tea”) and I never had issues with dialect. My sister complained that I sounded weird and couldn’t understand why I didn’t sound like a Chicagoan. She would correct me in her slightly hard Chicago dialect: “It’s ‘hot,’ not ‘haht.’ Talk right, will you?”
And I would find myself correcting my playmates. “Do not say ‘ain’t’!” and “It isn’t ‘them’ shoes, it’s those shoes! And it isn’t “don’t” – it’s doesn’t. As in, it doesn’t matter to me.” And, as I soon realized, it really didn’t matter to them. It wasn’t a priority. I even corrected my own mother when she’d start speaking what we used to call “Erie-ese.” And that went over like a lead balloon. No one enjoys being corrected – it’s embarrassing, insulting, rude. But those who feel they must point out others’ language transgressions feel that saying something wrong is more embarrassing than being berated for it.
It makes a person feel bad about himself, educators say, so teachers aren’t correcting students anymore. If they were we’d see evidence of it. Parents don’t seem to be doing their part, either, so kids are growing up sounding like idiots. My crusty old English teachers – the ones I adored and who influenced me to grow up to become a crusty old English major – explained that a person could learn to perfect their speech if they read well-written books. One would see how sentences were put together and how words were used. It would seep in and affect speech patterns positively. This is partly true, I think. How often do you hear someone mangle a common expression? I believe it’s because the person has never actually seen it in print. They’ve heard it, they repeat it, but they aren’t aware that they’re saying something that doesn’t make any sense and bears little resemblance to the actual expression.
I’m not saying that theater teacher who told the student that the way she spoke had nothing to do with her intelligence was wrong, but I do think she simplified a not-so-simple issue. Some people are supremely intelligent but verbal skills, for them, are a challenge. I don’t think anyone would support the argument that a person whose math skills are weak is automatically ignorant. (Well, maybe a mathematician would. But let’s see him write a great novel. Okay – some people are good at both, but those people are rare, blessed, and are probably slightly better at one than the other.)
We can take sides on this issue, sure, and argue forever. I just find it disturbing that the Left feels that every gaffe, every verbal blunder from Bush is proof that he’s a moron. Why? Because the same people who nitpick and roll their eyes at Bush have absolutely no issues when they permit the mangling of the language when it’s mangled by one of their own — especially if that individual is black.
I think teachers and parents are doing a disservice when they allow youngsters to abuse and misuse the language. It isn’t cruel to correct a child who makes an error – it’s cruel not to. Poor communication skills might not seem all that important in a world that seems to think it’s appropriate to speak as if you’re thumbing out a quick text message, but one thing has not changed. You may talk like you’ve never cracked open a book and no one around you would think to correct you, but the perception still stands, regardless. You might say “irregardless” and be perfectly smart, true, but it just won’t seem that way to others. So why allow them to assume something that’s false? Respect yourself, respect the language. It might not always come out perfect, but it doesn’t hurt to give it your best shot.
(Here’s a fun page to peruse for common errors we’ve all committed – unless, of course, you’re Bill Buckley.)
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