I will vote for the woman…
Writing by treason on Wednesday, 23 of May , 2007 at 6:38 pm
“Maybe it’s the hair. Maybe it’s the teeth. Maybe it’s the intellect. No, it’s the hair.”
– Tom Shales
There was a time when citizens didn’t know what their leaders looked like. Sometimes, when I’m watching C-SPAN, I get the distinct feeling that there are some who still don’t. But worse, there are those who vote specifically not on issues but on looks.
“I won’t vote for that guy – he looks like a crook.”
I had no female friends in the nineties because I couldn’t find a woman who hadn’t voted for the “sexy” candidate. “He’s sooooo cute!” Yeah, so was Paul McCartney, but I didn’t want him to be president. Already there are grumblings about Fred Thompson. He looks tired. What’s with the full set of Samsonite under his eyes? Didn’t he used to have hair?
“We’re teaching our kids that attributes as vague and relatively meaningless as a toothy smile or a fine head of hair make a fine statement about a person.”
– Neil Cavuto
The campaign of 2008 is shaping up to be the campaign of hair. The Year of the Coif. I do recall jokes about Reagan’s pompadour, but I don’t remember hair being a political issue until the Clintons showed up. First, Bill’s shifting hair color (it’s gray! no, it’s brown!) and his pricey cut on the tarmac; then Hillary with her headbands and peculiar series of hairdos.
“I’m undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair.”
– Hillary Clinton
That’s not all she likes to change, but I’m just going to focus on hair here. We were shocked when we found out that Bill was spending so much on his hair; then came John Kerry. And now John Edwards spends more on his hair in a month than what (he calls) “the little guy” makes at his “little job.”
Mike Huckabee got the biggest laugh of the debate with his line about the Senator from North Carolina; pundits suggested that Mitt Romney muss his hair just to look a little less perfect.
After the debates on MSNBC, the analysis was all about how the candidates looked. Chris Matthews seemed obsessed with Hillary’s accessories. Panelists agreed that her hair passed muster, but some are calling for a softer, fuller silhouette.
Like I said, I will vote for the woman… if she shaves her head. Seriously, how many times have you watched a woman getting her hair cut? My hair has been long, down to my waist, and it’s been short as peach fuzz, but I’ve never once cried during a haircut. Even when very bad things have happened to my head – ridiculous cuts and colors, disastrous perms – I’ve never shed a tear. Why? Because it’s just hair.
Two things I respect about my mother: She never spent money at a salon because she always cut her own hair, and she only carried a purse when she was toting tips home from the restaurant. She went purseless on her days off, and once she stopped waiting tables, she never carried a purse again. Women will never truly lead the world if they’re tied to their handbags or obsessed with their hair. To know real power, they need to just let go of both.
T has been cutting my hair and because we can’t find a pair of scissors that can slice through it, he’s been using clippers. Now the back and sides have been shaved off, and, like that surrey, there’s some fringe on top.
If couples are looking for trust in a relationship, I suggest they cut each other’s hair. If Hillary wants to establish some trust, Bill should shave off her hair in prime time. Hell, why even televise debates? No one’s listening to anything the candidates are saying; why not line them up, instead, and watch as they all get their heads shaved?
“If Edwards gained 60 pounds and lost all his hair, he’d look like Dick Cheney!”
– Neil Cavuto
You will know a lot about a person when you know the relationship with his – or her – hair.
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