The Voice of Treason

“You are worthless, Alec Baldwin
You are worthless, Alec Baldwin
You failed in every way and now my stock in you has fallen.
Your career is stallin’ and you’re worthless, Alec Baldwin
That’s why I blew your head off
And your children are all bawlin’…”

One reason – and there were many – that I chose not to breed was The Bad Seed. On some level I believe that there are more Rhoda Penmarks in this world than anyone is willing to admit. So who’s to say that little Ireland Baldwin isn’t just a rotten kid?

No, instead we are quick to assume that this child – like all our children – is innocent. She is not a “rude, thoughtless little pig” – her father is. And he owes us an apology for leaving a nasty voicemail message on his daughter’s phone.

If an apology is in order, Baldwin should apologize to his daughter for losing his temper, she should apologize to him for making him lose his temper, and his ex-wife should apologize to us for subjecting us to this little family drama.

Instead, experts are telling us that this is an indication of child abuse. Speaking to a child this way is unconscionable and possibly illegal. Alec Baldwin might just be one of those crazies we have to keep our eye on. He’s shown signs before, you know. One day he could snap. Our children – not just his own – could be at risk.

Oh, psshaw, people! If you want to talk about child abuse, let’s talk about our despicable public education system. If sending your kid to a public school isn’t child abuse, then what is? And we don’t hear anyone calling for a ban on those disgraceful institutions, now do we? And then there’s that horrid children’s programming on TV! No one’s calling for a ban on PBS or Nickelodeon, are they? And then there’s daycare. Those sticky, smelly, bacteria-infested… well, you get the idea.

See, I don’t talk to my dog the way Alec Baldwin talks to his kid, but then my dog doesn’t deserve it. Maybe his kid deserves a swift kick in the ass. Maybe he and his wife do. And maybe we do for spending so much time on this and not on the bigger issue.

The world is a stage. We set that stage for bad behavior and our children are merely our willing performers.

“This war is lost, and this surge is not accomplishing anything, as is shown by the extreme violence in Iraq this week.”

– Senate Democratic Majority Leader Harry Reid

Some are calling for Senator Reid to apologize for these remarks. So… we’re not allowed to voice an opinion anymore? Should we just preface each statement with: “I’m sorry” or “Forgive me, but here’s my opinion on this matter?”

And, please, no more jokes, either. Humor will get you in trouble even faster than your opinion. Case in point: John McCain answering a question from an American citizen.

American Citizen: “How many times do we have to prove that these people are blowing up people now, never mind if they get a nuclear weapon, when do we send ‘em an airmail message to Tehran?”

Senator McCain: “That old, eh, that old Beach Boys song… Bomb Iran. Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, anyway, ah …”

I liked McCain’s response to the criticism that followed: “My response is, lighten up and get a life.”

When it was suggested that the “joke” was insensitive, McCain needed clarification: “Insensitive to what? The Iranians?”

I admit it, I’ve said here that there was no way I’d vote for McCain, but he sure has been scoring some big points with me lately. He might even be back in the running.

And I don’t want him to apologize. I didn’t want Imus to apologize. I didn’t want Barama to apologize on behalf of Geffen (happily, he didn’t). And I certainly don’t want Reid to take back his remarks, either.

All these apologies and all the offense we take – well, it just clouds the atmosphere. Hell, scientists might even discover that it’s precisely this “fog” that’s causing our global warming. If you take a moment to brush the sorry mist from your faces, you might just get a clearer picture of the world. I have. It’s clear, to me, that the outrage over the firing of a handful of obscure attorneys is a device to eliminate Pete Domenici and Heather Wilson. I’ve said it before, but now it’s out of control. The ads against Wilson, suggesting that she was behind the firing of David Iglesias because she had LIED and because she was a LIAR, started immediately. To pile on, Americans United For Change is running ads – a lot of ads – attacking Wilson again.

“Heather Wilson is still voting with the president on Iraq. On March 23, she voted against bringing our troops home.” (Image of Liar Wilson with Liar Bush flashes across the screen!) “Tell Heather Wilson, after four years, it’s time to end the war.”

Clever. Why, we could end this terrible war if it wasn’t for that evil Heather Wilson. If only Patsy Madrid had defeated her in November! (Thank God that woman choked during the debate, and thank God Heather’s people created an effective ad using that debate. We Nuevo Mexican Republicans take pure joy in these rare, rare moments.)

“Vote to end the war in Iraq” these ads say. Look, there are two ways to end a war: You either have to win it, or you have to lose it. It’s either victory or defeat. When you pick up your ball and bat and go home, that is not called winning.

It’s clear Reid and the Democrats want the war to end before they take the White House in 2008. Look! We’re here now and there’s no war! My, my, how convenient. But the ads and the rhetoric from Congress – that’s the real lie. Vote to lose the war is what they’re really saying. And they want that loss on the Republican scorecard.

No, no apology necessary. Please… just keep talkin’.

“In America, our origins matter less than our destination, and that is what democracy is all about.”

– Ronald Reagan

Not to be macabre, but don’t we all share the same destination? If you believe in Heaven and Hell, then at some point we may part ways, but if there’s no afterlife… face it, it’s just ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

In a society which most of the time seems pretty callous about death (we permit abortion, we turn unwanted pets into shelters by the millions to be euthanized, we slaughter animals for sport and for sustenance, we commit violent acts against even those we are supposed to love and protect), we just fall apart when someone we’ve never met departs.

In Nuevo Mexico this week, local newscasters went on the hunt for residents who graduated from Virginia Tech. According to reporters, there are at least 150 graduates here. (Think a moment about that. Isn’t it odd that we have that information?) Reporters sat with some of them for interviews while they watched news coverage of the event. Frankly, that’s odd, too.

We had bell-ringing here and candlelight vigils. (That’s pronounced “vee-hill” in Nuevo Mexico.) And if you’ve ever been here you’ve no doubt seen our descansos – our roadside memorials that appear on our landscape and are as common as tumbleweeds. They say the significance of these memorials – their power, in fact – is that they are a reminder of our own mortality. They remind us of the mortality of those we love. And they remind us that Death can come to visit at any time and in the most unlikely places.

I’ve lived here twelve years and I’m seeing more and more of these, and since the death of Princess Di, they’ve become bizarre mini cemeteries. There are candles, ribbons, bows, flowers, stuffed animals, statuary, ornate satin and lace hearts, photos, cards, and notes. Truth be told, these no longer remind me of mortality – they remind me of Valentine’s Day and crass commercialism. But that’s me.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

– Edmund Burke

Thirty-three people are dead and now we feel we have to do something. Somehow this could have been prevented and we have to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Do we ban guns? Do we watch for signs of odd behavior and then turn the oddballs into the authorities?

Uh, no. We can’t ferret out every weirdo in society because a lot of us weirdos are perfectly benign. I know there are crazy people in the world – I’ve met several of them. Those I haven’t met I hear when they call in on C-SPAN. They’re out there and there’s really not much we can do about it.

As for gun control, I’m with Thomas Jefferson: “The strongest reason for people to retain the right to bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”

When they come to take you away because a neighbor thinks you might be crazy, don’t you want to have some means to protect yourself? Look, we’ve been doing this for centuries, and we still haven’t figured out that we can’t legislate either responsibility or crazy. Any rules we put in place only punish those who are responsible and sane. And that’s precisely why so many of us are losing it.

When one spends his entire life playing by the middle class rulebook, then realizes that he’s been lied to, something snaps. You behave all your life, you do well in school, you work hard, you pay your taxes, you recycle, you give to charity, you donate blood, you license your pets, you buy insurance, you do everything that you’re supposed to do, and what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in debt. If you’re a teacher you cannot remove a disruptive student from your class. It isn’t fair. (Obviously no one seems to care that it isn’t particularly fair to the other forty-nine students in class when their education is spoiled by one hooligan.) If you’re a supervisor you can’t write an honest performance review and dismiss a bad employee. Instead you can watch your best people resign out of frustration. You’re left asking: When did the world turn upside down and where was I when this happened?

Bad behavior works. You behaved, your sibling didn’t. Who got more attention? You do your job, your coworker doesn’t. Who gets more attention? A Holocaust survivor blocks a doorway to allow students to escape with their lives and he’s killed by a crazy. Who gets more attention: the individual who sacrificed himself to save others or the murderer?

There is no reward, it seems, for being ordinary or for being good. We know this because we follow the news. More and more we hear that the motivation for these killings is that the perpetrator felt that he was being treated unfairly. In this case, it was a person who didn’t fit in and resented those who did. Life wasn’t fair. Justice was needed.

Call me crazy, but it’s starting to sound like lawyers are running the world. John Edwards is one and his message is simple: America is unfair. There are people who have more than you do. (He should know, he’s one of them.) There’s a disturbing underlying message here: those who have are somehow guilty of something. If it isn’t right that they have, and others have not, then someone is doing something wrong. Must be those who are the haves, right? Because if you’re doing everything right and have nothing, then those who do have obviously have done something wrong. (When you’re educated in our government schools, logic like this will make sense to you.)

And when we’re not hearing this message from the lawyers in politics, we’re hearing it from the ones on the news. The ones reporting the news. Have you noticed the number of lawyers who have turned to “journalism?” They write columns, they report on air, they anchor. Cable news is full of them. These lawyers in the media are reporting the same message: Bad behavior works. And, as we know, if it’s in the news it must be the truth.

“An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life.”

– Robert A. Heinlein

“Are you carrying Senator Webb’s gun, or are you just happy to see me?”

– National Review/April 16, 2007

“I’d rather be with the thugs than the people who are complaining about them, for sure.”

– Nikki Giovanni, Virginia Tech prof, discussing her “Thug Life” tattoo

Thug - an aggressive and violent young criminal, a person who treats others violently and roughly

There is much about this college massacre that is offensive. First, the network coverage: “What triggered the deadly attack?” The finger pointing started almost immediately after the story broke, and as the number of victims grew, so did the number of potential lawsuits. Everyone was at fault except the one kid with the two guns.

Last week the worst thing in U.S. history was that an old man on the radio made some snide remarks about a group of young girls because he thought they looked like thugs. And this criticism, they said, scarred them for life. Bullets and flesh whizzing past you? Now that would scar you for life. I think of those diminutive Amish girls lined up against a chalkboard and Liviu Librescu blocking a classroom doorway, and I imagine the Rutgers team might feel a little silly this week. Or not.

And speaking of silly, the Convocation, the candlelight vigils, the hand wringing, the insensitivity of the media… can you say overwrought? I think T summed things up pretty well when he said:

“It’s like a sponge. And they just keep squeezing it.”

It’s the worst massacre in our nation’s history, they say. An Italian newspaper calls it “as American as apple pie.” This is simply inaccurate reporting. Carnage happens. It happens every day and in every place on earth. Eighty years ago in Bath Township, Michigan, Andrew Kehoe killed his wife, torched his farm, and detonated explosives at a school, killing more than 40 people, including himself. And this over property taxes.

More recently, nearly three thousand people got up and went to work on a beautiful September morning and were incinerated. Today, in Baghdad, explosives killed American soldiers, ratcheting the total to more than 3300. As Nikki Giovanni said at the Convocation:

“We do not understand this tragedy… we know we did nothing to deserve it… no one deserves a tragedy. We are the Hokies. We will prevail.”

And that received quite the positive reaction. George Bush says “we will prevail” and he’s mocked. His statements are called… well, hokey. Yes, this is a tragic event in our history and the loss of life is senseless. But the politicizing of the event on both sides is too much to bear and everyone is guilty of it. As soon as the story hit the airwaves there was hope that the perpetrator would somehow fit into the right mold depending on which side one’s on. Maybe he’s a Muslim! Maybe he’s a right wing nut!

Everyone now says they saw the signs. It reminds me of that scene in The Sixth Sense when Cole explains to Dr. Crowe:

“We were supposed to draw a picture, anything we wanted. I drew a man who got hurt in the neck by another man with a screwdriver.”

“You saw that on TV, Cole?”

“Everyone got upset. They had a meeting. Mom started crying. I don’t draw like that anymore.”

“How do you draw now?”

“Draw… people smiling, dogs running, rainbows. They don’t have meetings about rainbows.”

Last week we learned that we have to be very careful about what we say. This week we’ve learned that we need to be careful about what we write.

“Our tax reform goal is three-fold. To get to a single rate tax that taxes income one time and then has some sort of protection against tax increases in the future. Right now, they tax it when you earn it, when you save it, when you invest it, when you put it inside a corporation, when it comes out as a dividend, and if your stupid enough to die, they steal half. What we want to do is say, look, you can watch us earn a dollar and steal some; you can watch us spend a dollar and steal some; but the rest of the time you’ve got to go away and do something else. Stop following us around and taking another bite at the apple.

Second, tax it at one rate. Why do we tax income at one rate? Everybody pays the same rate. Some people go ‘oh very nice.’ No! Taxation is about taking money from people who earned it and giving it to people who didn’t. Fairness is not part of this concept. The reason why we want to tax income at one single rate is so that everybody is treated equally. And when the politicians say I have a really good idea and we are all going to pay for it, people go okay, if we are all paying for it, tell us about it again, and it better be a really good idea.

In other words, what Clinton did. He said I’ve got some ideas but I’m only going to mug 2% of the population so the rest of you go do something else, go to the other room, have a drink, I am just going to mug these guys here, this isn’t going to be pleasant, it’s not going to be pretty, but it’s not you. So, this doesn’t affect you. And he divided us into different groups and he came back for the people who drove cars, and he came back for the people who got Social Security. He mugged people one at a time. This is the Richard Speck theory of tax increases. You can’t take on everyone in the room at once, you take them out of the room one at a time.”

– Grover Norquist, Americans For Tax Reform, on the Richard Speck theory of tax increases

I was six years old and in Chicago when the Speck story broke. It was the summer of 1966, and I was old enough to be paying attention to the reports. I’d heard Norquist this morning on C-SPAN make the Speck reference again when he appeared with various representatives from tax reform organizations to remind people that, like the Speck case, our taxation system is not only criminal, but barbaric. The comparison is startling, of course, but what’s really shocking is that other countries are adopting the flat tax and we aren’t.

Like the Chicago nurses we comply, we cooperate, and we pay for it. We don’t put up a fight and we don’t take advantage of power in numbers. We know what’s going to happen and we allow it. But we do have quotes to comfort us.

“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
– Will Rogers

“Did you ever notice that when you put the words ‘The’ and ‘IRS’ together, it spells ‘THEIRS?’”
– Author unknown

“It’s income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.”
– Dave Barry

“The taxpayer - that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.”
– Ronald Reagan

“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss.”
– Robert Heinlein

“The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.”
– Author unknown

“There’s nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won’t cure.”
– Dan Bennett

“Taxes grow without rain.”
– Jewish proverb

“The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here.”
– Steve Forbes

“A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right.”
– Author unknown

“The politicians say ‘we’ can’t afford a tax cut. Maybe we can’t afford the politicians.”
– Steve Forbes

“I can give you 1040 good reasons why I hate the government.”
– T. Guillemets

“Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.”
– Author unknown, from a Washington Post word contest

BROOKLYN, April 10. (AP)- Jackie Robinson, brilliant Negro infielder, today became the first of his race to break into modern major league baseball when President Branch Rickey of the Brooklyn Dodgers announced the purchase of his contract from the Montreal Royals of the International League…

“On matters of race, on matters of decency, baseball should lead the way.”

– A. Bartlett Giamatti

“Baseball never fails to betray me.”

– T, Opening Day 2007

There are certain undeniable truths in life: death, taxes, and the Chicago Cubs will never again win the World Series. T and I, as I have said here before, once loved baseball but over the years we’ve both discovered, much to our horror, that it’s been an abusive relationship. Maybe you could call it “battered fan syndrome.” Still, knowing we’re going to get hurt again, we just keep going back.

We tuned in the first night game of the season, then tried to catch as many Opening Day games as possible. But there’s just so much to dislike. There were cheerleaders in the ballpark. No, really. Cheerleaders in baseball. Silly colors on uniforms. Silly logos. Silly fonts. Silly names. Arizona is next door and I could adopt their team, but do I really want to call myself a D’backs fan? And those absurd salaries that make it impossible for the average fan to see a game at the ballpark.

But today… today is the day that will live in infamy. Frankly, I’m offended and need to sue someone. It’s the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking the color barrier as a member of the Brooklyn Dodgers. In a week that focused on a college team that had been referred to as “nappy-headed hos,” we overlooked one of the most important events in our history. Mr. Robinson was called names, too. Names I wouldn’t even repeat here.

Today, breaking the color barrier in baseball means announcing the purchase of uniforms in “Sedona Red” and “Sonoran Sand.” What’s important today is selling merchandise and gouging the fans. The history of the game – with all its beauty marks and its blemishes – is too often dismissed. The game is long, boring, and has no significance in today’s world, they say. It’s obsolete, antiquated.

Ken Griffey, Jr. asked the commissioner if he could wear the retired number 42 on his jersey today. In typical “if one child has a piece of candy, then all children must have a piece, too” mentality, the commissioner extended an invitation to all MLB players to wear the number on their jerseys today. We noticed that only black players were wearing the jerseys. Odd; had segregation returned to baseball? No, because an estimated 200 players – whole rosters in some cases – had planned to wear the special jerseys.

But some chose not to. God bless them, every one. It is inappropriate and offensive to wear that number on a jersey today. That’s Jackie’s number. If Major League Baseball wants to acknowledge this day – this year – then it should have supplied a commemorative cap or added a commemorative patch to every player’s uniform to be worn throughout the season.

I have a replica jersey in my closet with the number 14 on it. I’ve had the thing for years and today I took a look at it. It’s covered in the protective plastic it arrived in and the original tags are still on it. I’ve never worn it. I just don’t feel I have the right.

“When you have the facts on your side, argue the facts. When you have the law on your side, argue the law. When you have neither, holler.”

– Malik Zulu Shabazz

Hat tip to T for today’s title. Alas, the Imus saga continues. There are those who suspect that we haven’t yet been told the real reason Don Imus was “let go.” Some speculate that it was a setup: Imus planned his own demise because he wanted a better deal from Satellite Radio. Others wonder if CBS and MSNBC were merely looking for a reason to say goodbye. He was bringing in big money, sure, but maybe it wasn’t enough. How were the show’s ratings, really? Still others wanted him out because he might make one of their presidential candidates look bad.

Most say it was the advertisers running for the hills that did him in. Truth be told, MSNBC released Imus because there had been reports that he was perceived as a “conservative talk show host” and CBS fired him because executives didn’t want Sharpton and friends hanging out at their offices everyday.

But the real reason, experts in the black community say, is colonization and capitalism. Simply put: White people cause trouble wherever they go. You see, black people were doing just fine until white people came along and stole their culture. I know this because a steady stream of rap artists and other leaders of the community have appeared on radio and television to explain the theory.

Experts, like Hashim Nzinga and Malik Zulu Shabazz of the New Black Panther Party, know of what they speak – racist, anti-Semitic, homophobes that they are – so we should pay close attention to them when they share their pearls – black ones, no doubt – of wisdom with us.

Shabazz, explaining why Don Imus, white guy, can’t call a black woman a ‘ho’ calls Michelle Malkin, of Filipino descent, “a political prostitute.” Michelle interprets that as ‘ho,’ and rightly so. Offended, she challenges Shabazz’ position on the Duke lacrosse players, and he explains that it doesn’t matter who calls them innocent – they’re guilty. And they’re guilty because there’s no proof that their “victim” wasn’t raped, and besides the players are white and white men have been having their way with black women for centuries and they’ve never been adequately punished.

If we have learned anything from this, the lesson is: Apologizing isn’t enough anymore.

Imus apologized profusely but was severely punished anyway. The Rutgers team accepted Imus’ apology but there was discussion (three hours?) during which it was decided that he just needs to do more. Some kind of restitution is in order.

Hey, I’m still waiting for the Rutgers women to apologize to Tennessee for hogging their limelight and stealing their glory.

There are those who say that Don Imus will soon be back on the radio: Satellite will offer him a deal and he’ll be making more money than ever before. It’s possible, but what was good about Imus In The Morning was that it was accessible. I don’t subscribe to Satellite Radio, but if I wanted to watch and hear Imus I had access to him on MSNBC. (With all that transpires on cable televison these days, “nappy-headed ‘ho’” is the most controversial?)

Because I retain my cable I have the opportunity to see things like The Shield on FX, Planet Earth on Discovery, LOGO, and, of course, C-SPAN, so I caught a little of yesterday’s tribute to Ted Stevens, the longest-serving Republican Senator in history. Ted Stevens was born one month before my mother; both were born the year Yankee Stadium was built. And it is my understanding that “The House That Ruth Built” is slated to come down once the new stadium opens. (Insert the “Bronx cheer” here.)

Similarly, a lot of people speculated this week that maybe it was Imus’ time, too. Not just because he had gotten away with worse over the years and his dismissal was long overdue, but because he was “losing it.” He’s an old man, they said. He’s sixty-six years old. Maybe it’s best that he just ride off into the sunset.

Wait a minute. Do I smell hypocrisy? Aren’t Boomers saying that sixty is the new forty? That would make Imus forty-six and much too young to retire. Why, forty-six is middlescence! Sure, Imus has been doing this job for what, thirty-five years? But he’s just getting started!

Let’s just cut to the chase here. I landed on C-SPAN at the point where Robert Byrd was delivering his soliloquy: “How Do I Love Ted? Let Me Take A Few Hours At Taxpayer Expense To Count The Ways.” If Ted is getting long in the tooth, Bob Byrd is downright antediluvian.

G’ahead, call me an ageist. I know there is no mandatory retirement age for rock stars and politicians, but maybe we should just sit down and take a look at it. Ted’s still pretty spry and can bring home loads of pork, and Robert can still… orate, but at some point it would be nice if they could go do something else.

Bob and Ted’s excellent adventure in D.C. has been going on for so long that the two are practically joined at the hip. No easy feat considering they’re supposed to be on different sides of the aisle.

One day our Congress members are conspiring against one another; the next day they’re giving one another accolades. Oh, we sometimes disagree, they say, but we respect each other and meet for drinks right after we’ve eviscerated each other.

So… is this all for show? And which part of the performance is fake? The camaraderie or the evisceration? I’m not saying people shouldn’t be civil, but if you’re genuinely that close, how do you manage to take sides on our behalf?

Whatever you have to say is suspect. It’s as insignificant as the watered down discourse we can expect to hear on radio and television now. If what you say is so disingenuous, how can we believe you when you tell us that your opponent is wrong? How can we believe you when you call Don Imus sexist and racist?

If there is evidence to prove that this is not the case – and there’s plenty – then his speech, too, was merely for show. And that makes you people different how?

“When the voices of democracy are silenced, freedom becomes a hollow concept. No man or woman should be sentenced to the shadows of silence for something he or she has said or written.”

– Allen H. Neuharth

“The one sure way to conciliate a tiger is to allow oneself to be devoured.”

– Konrad Adenauer

Cannibalism is alive and well: Don Imus has just been muzzled and guzzled. Note to the Reverends Sharpton and Jackson: Race relations cannot be advanced by lynching a craggy old white man. I’ve recently developed an affection for Imus, you see, and I’m not sure why. It’s not as if we are fellow travelers, and I have disagreed with much of what he has had to say over the years, but someone somewhere must defend his right to say it. Where’s Voltaire when you need him?

I guess I just appreciate that Imus is so… irritable. I’m disappointed that MSNBC has dropped him because I’d just been thinking about switching over in the morning expressly to watch him. FOX & Friends First is just a little too perky for me at 4:00 in the morning. I don’t like sugar with my coffee, and Imus is more like a shot of Wild Turkey. I’m going to miss that. And now CBS has dropped him, too.

“My right to speak my mind, to have a voice, to be what some have called ‘opinionated’ is a right I deeply and profoundly cherish.”

– Teresa Heinz Kerry

One theory circulating is that it’s better that Imus was fired because if he had been forced to censor himself, both he and his show would have suffered. As it is, everyone else will now have to censor themselves for fear of being canned. I noticed Shepard Smith was getting a little ornery today – watch out, Shep, you might offend someone and get axed.

Imus’ dismissal might be good for our governor; after all, Bill and Don have had their little dustups. However, some worry about the future of the Imus Ranch here in Nuevo Mexico – and I worry about the future of Imus. Not his career necessarily, but the man himself.

“Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech.”

– Benjamin Franklin

And I worry about the future of broadcasting. The suppression of free speech is one concern, of course, but after weeks of showing Anna Nicole’s breasts and Britney’s crotch, then calling it news, broadcasters – from what I’ve already seen and heard today – will now be repeating old Imus slurs and reciting rap lyrics, just so they can say what Imus said but without the worry of being fired. Here’s another ethnic slur from Imus – this one’s about Jews! Here are some rap lyrics – ho! bitch! Here are more video clips!

Oh, the irony. Firing Imus was supposed to protect us from this “hurtful language.” Now, until the next big story breaks, the networks will be shoving the words – and the videos, too – in our faces.

Imus, during his final broadcast, had a word for it: Hypocrisy.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me…

If I hear one more female explain on talk radio or on television that she feels as if those young, beautiful, smart, talented, remarkable Rutgers girls are her daughters, I’ll rip out my ovaries. Even Hillary Clinton has made room on her site to ask us to join her in “sending the young women of Rutgers a message of respect and support.” Jeez, what sort of emotional cripples are we producing these days?

Don Imus calls you a “nappy-headed ‘ho’” and you’re scarred for life? These girls should have refused to attend that press conference and simply issued a statement:

“We are not offended by the words of Mr. Imus. Until today, we had never heard of him.”

Forgive me, but if something Don Imus says sends you straight into a fetal position, you have serious issues in your life. How about being accused of doing something truly despicable when you have proof that you didn’t do it? How about having a college, then a town, and then an entire country turn against you? How about 395 days of sheer hell?

Funny, but I don’t remember anyone asking us to send the young men of Duke a message of respect and support when their names were being dragged through the muck. You know, I seriously doubt that Essence Carson will be turned down for a job because of something some guy on the radio said. But these Duke lacrosse players’ reputations have been forever damaged.

If my “sisters” are so eager to adopt a cause and rally around a group of kids they don’t even know and call them their own, allow me, then, to call Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty, and David Evans my sons. See how silly that sounds?

A year ago I wrote here:

“Until someone proves that the contents of this walking sperm bank matches the DNA of someone on that team, I’ll remain skeptical. Well… just call me a misogynist.”

Yes, do. After all, sticks and stones… oh, never mind. I guess they’re not teaching that one to kids anymore.