On the campaign trail with John F. Kerry
Writing by treason on Saturday, 28 of January , 2006 at 1:10 pm
Word on the street is that John Filibuster Kerry is gearing up for the 2008 presidential election. “Gearing up,” when you’re talking about Senator Kerry, usually means he’ll be adding a few new pieces to his wardrobe. I suggest he avoid mustard colored Timberland parkas. (Note to Dems: No earth tones. Algore! You listening?)
Wardrobe aside, Kerry’s already off to a rocky start. When word leaked that he was considering another run, Americans figured he’d be in the news to remind us that he, despite his cold gray appearance, is still very much alive. So what did he do? He came out to warn us about that evil Sam Alito who will single-handedly turn back the clock on our civil liberties. If confirmed, we will again see signs for “colored only” drinking fountains and women and minorities will once more be under the boot of rich white men. Oh, like John Kerry?
His first mistake was to call for his fellow Democrats to filibuster; his second was to do it from a five-star resort in the Swiss Alps. Has he learned nothing from the last election? It was Kerry, along with other Democrats, who criticized Bush for not being a world traveler. Mon dieu, they snorted, the man has never even been out of the country! How can he be leader of the free world if he hasn’t even seen it?
Bush admitted that he hadn’t been out of the country much, but his attitude was conspicuous: why leave the greatest place on the planet? The average American understood immediately. If only the Democrats could. Adlai Stevenson, Eugene McCarthy, George McGovern, Al Gore, John Kerry. The party needs to stop looking at their losers and concentrate on the candidates who actually won: Carter and Clinton. And I’m not talkin’ Hillary.
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