Even more to feel fortunate about…
Writing by treason on Saturday, 31 of December , 2005 at 3:41 pm
It’s the last day of a challenging year, a new year will begin, my mother knows who I am, and the diabetic dog is still alive. Despite the perennial theme of “Have Yourself a Wretched Little Christmas,” it came and went and was relatively quiet.
It’s a relief to say goodbye to 2005. Ordinarily we stay home on New Year’s Eve, but this year we have some invitations to be with friends and that sounds…normal. We will spend the evening with a married couple and a large group of people - some we know and some we don’t - at a house that is, technically, staggering distance from ours. That way weren’t not too far from the dogs. Happily, this couple has moved to our side of town and is now only a few blocks away. A relationship can be rekindled.
This was a couple that I’d told, after their first date, that they were going to get married because they were perfect for each other. Friends and coworkers laughed at me. Time passed and these two had a lovely wedding and reception; now they have a wonderful house nearby, an active toddler, and three spectacular dogs.
He is an engineer and, perhaps, the nicest guy in the world. One of those rare types that never says anything negative about anyone or anything unless he is forced to, and even then it never sounds that negative. She teaches American history to eighth graders. Their daughter is cute; the three dogs - including the new puppy - are perfect angels. This couple has had the same friends forever.
They are the perfect picture of normal. Now people get defensive when you say that word as if it’s something undesirable. Why is that? Do they think normal is boring? Unimaginative? Stagnant? Incarceration? Not glamorous or interesting enough?
I’m not sure. But I don’t think normal is a bad thing. Normal should be embraced. There has been a movement to be unique and original and avoid conforming and being like everyone else. But when everyone is trying to be unique, they quickly become just like everyone else who’s trying to be different. I’m not saying if you have an iguana tattooed on your forehead that you aren’t normal. I’m not saying if you have both male and female genitalia that you’re not normal.
Normal to me is comfortable, stable, peaceful, productive, healthy. You have a schedule, a plan, something to look forward to, something you enjoy, and an eagerness to face the day. You change your oil regularly. Your tires aren’t bald. The appliances work. And when they stop working you get them fix or replaced. Perhaps it’s a certain middle classness.
I think it’s what they used to call suburbia before suburbia became a bad word. Before that it might have been small town America. Gotta be careful. If you say small town and normal in the same sentence, millions of people who live in major metropolitan areas will come forward and say that they moved to big cities because small town life was anything but normal.
It’s not where you live, it’s how you live. You can be poor and be normal. You can be rich. You can be just about anything and be normal. Well, maybe you can’t be a serial murderer or child molester but, again, normal is how you live.
I suspect one reason I never wanted children is that I felt I needed to be able to guarantee normal for them. I want to be able to do that for my dogs. I’m sitting here with a shaved head. Is that normal? Like pornography, you know it when you see it; like torture, you know it when you feel it.
My wish for the new year is a wish for normal. A return to routine. Not monotony, not tedium. But usual, habitual, customary. A framework of normal. Structure, scaffolding, a support system of normal. Has nothing to do with haircuts or hobbies, but I suspect it does have something to do with habits. Conventions, patterns, inclinations…well, routines.
Just, simply, back to normal. I’ll know it when I get there.
Category: Uncategorized
- Add this post to
- Del.icio.us -
- Digg -
No comments yet.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.
